Love For Sport pt3

"Men drive you crazy, then trip when you pump the gas.

Could've been 100 boy I still would have dropped the ass.

Don't question my mental state

Promise you I've got a grasp,

But I'm emotionally unchained

And my vengeance, it can't be tamed..."

-tbj "Mal de Mer" excerpt

I don't switch up when it comes to expressing how I feel... when I'm in it. It's just that, if you lay out limits I can scrimmage within em. When I'm done. There's probably no coming back. So I HATE telling a man exactly what I want and they pretend that they can meet me there... that they want what I'm clear about. They just 'yes man' themselves into my boudoir, because they assume I wouldn't have a fwb...

If you can fit that role and be cool when I'm talking to other men cause I still want what I want. Sure. If you not gone fall in love while we play boyfriend and girlfriend, cause I'm still looking for a MAN. Ok.

*disclaimer *

this right here is past tense af for me... just laying it out here cause I'm speaking for myself (past tense), but I know this speaks to some of the ladies reading this.

I'm 35... THIRTY FIVE. There is no reason any man I talk to should be lying to me about what they want. I don't deserve to be blindsided at this age... like in my 20s it was some bs, but we were all still learning the game then. Honestly ts got me just not wanting to date anymore at all... To know I can be so real with a ninja and he play in my face. I got two girls who deserve to see their mom loved properly so they know what love looks like. If it's not that, they can watch me love myself. They will not see me give and give and give to someone who only takes from me and breaks me down.

I have been the overly dedicated lover, now where is the man who is ready to love and respect this dedicated mother?

Stay tuned (as we find out),

TBj